I went up north this weekend to visit a friend at her small, Catholic, liberal arts college in the middle of a cornfield in rural Minnesota. Here's what I learned:

1. Everybody at that college is gorgeous. It's sickening. Okay, there are a few plain-janes, but I didn't see any ugly people, like you normally would at any other school, and the vast majority of them were really, really attractive. We went to a bar on Friday night in the tiny town near the school and all I could see were tall blondes with huge tits and big, strapping, bronzed guys. I wasn't even able to focus on the conversation because I was too busy oogling everybody. That is a bad habit of mine--ignoring my conversation partner when somebody attractive is nearby. I sort of become fixated on that person, as if staring at them will magically draw them over to me, into my car, and back to my bedroom. Hmm. With the exception of my current and former boyfriend, it hasn't worked so far. So basically the entire weekend was spent with me ignoring my friend and staring at people.

2. I would estimate (unscientifically) that about 75% of the men there are either homosexuals or closeted homosexuals. You see, my friend's school is actually two schools that are about five miles apart from each other. One is an all-boys school and the other is all-girls, and even though they can take classes at each other's schools, they live in entirely same-sex quarters and normally hang out with people of their own gender. So I'm sure you can imagine WHO would be attracted by a school where there are a bunch of gorgeous guys who are basically stuck with each other for four years in a homo-social environment. It was very frustrating to me, though, because closeted gays are such a thing of the past for me. I don't really have time for them. So when I see a guy and my gaydar starts shrieking in my head, I just assume that they are openly gay and proceed under that assumption. Well, I would say something to my friend like, "...your friend John, who is gay, right?, well, he just told me that..." and my friend would cut me off and say, "He's not gay!" At which point I would look at the guy again, recalibrate my gaydar (in case of a technical glitch), and reassess. And he was always gay. But there were some openly gay guys that I met, one of whom was devastatingly attractive, lives in Minneapolis, and at least seemed interested in talking to me. Curse this whole long-distance boyfriend thing. Oh wait, that brings me to point...

3. I had to make an apology to my friend halfway through my first night there. I suddenly realized that my hormones were raging, or something like that, because I was boy-crazy! (Tee-hee, I love saying that! It makes me think of Bop magazine or something...) I was downright frisky. I don't know what happened, but I was suddenly of one mind. I think all of the gorgeous people and the homo-social environment and the huge volume of openly gay/closeted gay people swirling around me triggered something in my head. For the first time since I arrived in Minneapolis in November, I was desperate for physical affection. (That's a classy way of saying sex.) I have had cravings before, but this was completely different. DESPERATE. Which finally brings me to point...

4. Thank GOD my boyfriend is coming to visit me in two weeks!!!!!!!!!!