New Years was fun. I hosted a "Come Dressed as your Favorite Celebrity" party--red carpet and everything. I had a lot more people come than I expected, which was cool. But, of course, being the paranoid host that I am, I panicked that I wouldn't have enough food. How Midwestern of me!

I stayed up until 6 AM, and DAMN it felt good. Then I slept in until 1:30 PM, and that felt equally good. I woke up hungover and drowsy, and strangely enough I really craved having a warm body next to me. That way I could justify staying in bed by fooling around for a few hours. Sigh, the good old days, when fooling around came cheap and easy. Now I feel like Sister Mary Stephen, living the chaste life.

Must. Get. Laid.

I went to coffee with Sarah tonight and for the first half-hour I was there I couldn't rip my eyes off this GORGEOUS guy sitting in the smoking section. Like supermodel gorgeous. Like a younger, hotter Ricky Martin. I fooled myself into thinking he was giving me "the eye," and then as he left I noticed that he was holding hands with some whore who he probably called his girlfriend. He'll come around, I'm sure.

Had a great time with Sarah, as always. She is so chill, which I love. It's nice to hang out with somebody who doesn't always have somewhere else they need to be. I can get myself worked up into a tizzy at times so I love to have calm people like her around to keep me balanced. We had dinner, drank water, and chatted for hours and hours. It's fun getting to know somebody new!

I'm still working on my theory that all straight men really have homosexual tendencies and would bang a homo in a second if fucking American society didn't strictly forbid it. I'll have a treatment on your desk by tomorrow morning. Hopefully with lots of research and experimentation involved.