fish!
fish!
square square
icky
2004-11-29 | 10:17 p.m.

Here's where I spent my entire Thanksgiving vacation.

Farm

I hope you feel pity for me. Pools of it. My brother bought a shack in the middle of nowhere and, before he could even move in with his family, tore down the nicest part of the shack and built a two-story monstrosity over the top of it. I was guilted into helping the menfolk with the construction.

I spent four days in 30-degree weather, on top of a bluff in Wisconsin, in the middle of absolutely, positively NOWHERE, with no heat, no insulation, no electricity, no toilet or running water--nothing. It rained one day and--guess what--the roof isn't finished, so it poured on us for the entire day.

All work and no play makes Rusty a miserable sack of worthless shit. My dad decided that the weekend should be a learning experience for me, since I don't know anything about construction or powertools. He realized he had a lot of work ahead of him when he asked for a pliers and I came back with a wrench. He wanted a needle-nosed tool and I brought a wire cutter.

He did teach me how to wire--from scratch!--an outlet and a light switch. All I have to say is, there are strange days upon us when they let me--a known homosexual--wire an outlet and use an "auger". (?)

I was dirty, cold, wet, pathetic, but damn I felt manly.

And then I would get home at night, draw a nice bubble bath, gently exfoliate, and crawl into my pre-heated bed with the latest People magazine.

I am so happy to be back in the land of coffeeshops, friends, plumbing, and intellectual pursuits. There is a place for fun in my life, and it sure as hell isn't on a wretched pile of mud wedged between two bluffs.

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