[deep breath]

LSAT eve.

Part of me says that tomorrow I will take the most important test of my life. Another part of me says it's just a stupid test, and no matter what I score on it I will still be able to get into a decent law school.

Now I'm sitting in my apartment, waiting to get tired so I can fall asleep, wake up, and get the damn thing over with.

But despite my nerves, my thoughts are dominated by the huge amount of kindness that my friends and co-workers have shown me over the past few days.

On Thursday my boss threw me a surprise "good luck" party. She invited all of the administrative staff at my job, bought a cake and juice. My boss's daughter made a big sign that says "Good Luck on Your LSAT, Rusty!" in huge letters and has streamers dangling from it. She hung it outside my office and when I came back from lunch everybody was gathered waiting for me. It was one of the nicest things that I've ever had happen to me. We dished up cake and everybody asked me about the test, how long I had studied, where I wanted to go to school, etc. Most people with whom I work didn't even know that I was planning on going to law school, so my boss's invitation to the party was a surprise to them too!

Ever since then, people keep coming up to me and wishing me luck on the exam. One lady made me a card, a few other people sent me supportive e-mails, and a couple of people came all the way to my remote wing of the building to wish me luck in person. The dance teacher taught me some pressure points and arm exercises that are supposed to enhance your thinking ability. My friend Colleen made a care package that consists of a Power Bar and a Starbucks gift card wrapped in a bow (for energy when I take my test). My ex-boyfriend e-mailed me his good wishes, and three people said they would be thinking about me tomorrow morning. Another friend sent me a long, sweet e-mail that was complimentary about the amount of preparation I've done so far and saying that she was proud of me no matter how I scored on the test. My brother called tonight to wish me well--which is truly amazing, and meant a huge deal to me.

This all makes me want to bawl. I'm actually welling up just thinking about all of the love and support. I've had people rooting for me in the past, but never so many and with such depth. This sounds so quasi-born-again-Christian..... but I feel truly blessed right now. It makes me care less about the test and more about the emotions, which is rare for me since I'm such an outcome-driven person. (As evidenced by my previous entry, which consists of a line graph with description.)

I'm a lucky guy, no matter what. I love everybody right now.