Finally, something entry-worthy.

I have been so busy for the past three weeks, but it's been mostly boring-busy stuff that would make ME tired just writing about it, so I can't imagine how awful it would be read about it.

In the midst of the chaos two weeks ago, I sort of met somebody that I like. A lot. And he happens to be a gay male. And, in case you forgot/didn't know, I am in a long-distance, long-term relationship. So this is bad.

And things wouldn't be so bad if my boy and I hadn't been fighting so much this whole month. Some things were my fault, others were his, but we haven't had an honest, good, fun conversation since May, seriously. So things are on the rocks with us, and suddenly along comes this nice, humble, cute, TALL guy who goes out of his way to be super nice to me. (I love nice people--it's the fastest and cheapest way to my heart!) He does some favors for me. (non-sexual, of course) I am impressed. He says that he will meet me out with my friends one night, and he actually comes! He gives me his phone number in a really clever, cute, endearing way. I am sort of smitten.

To make matters worse, I know for a fact that he is very interested in me. (It pays to have friends who look out/spy for you!) And the longer I know him, the more forward he is becoming. One night he practically laid his head in my lap as we were watching a movie. I am now either "honey" or "sweetie" to him. This all sounds strange, but he is so calm about it all that I don't think of it as weird.

And now the dilemma. I love my boyfriend bunches. But we've been arguing so much recently that all I can remember is how different we are. The things about our relationship that make me unhappy. And he's thousands of miles away, but right here before my very eyes is this other guy who seems so accessible, friendly, and, well... convenient.

If you recall, my boyfriend and I are in an "open relationship". (I know, you don't have to tell me how lame that is...) We have both said that we would probably never take advantage of our "openness," but now here I have an opportunity. The problem is, I always thought that if I messed around with somebody, it would be a one-night-stand, never-see-him-again, "oh-my-god, I-was-so-drunk" kind of deal. But I can't do that to this guy, because he is too nice and I can't hurt him like that. He knows about my whole relationship, but he keeps pursuing me under the guise of "friendship."

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I would love to just be friends with him, but I guess I am attracted to him and I don't know if two gay guys who are really attracted to each other, one of whom's boyfriend is a million miles away, can just be friends. Any thoughts? I'm at a loss. I would like to think it's possible, but... well... I just don't want to screw up.

So much more to write, but I think it would be better if I just thought about it some more. Hmm.