6:31 PM: Took muscle relaxant.

Currently 6:48 PM: Still no noticeable effects.

I am performing a bit of a scientific experiment tonight. You should be proud of me, even though my experiment doesn't involve animal feces or raw beef. I am going to try to write this entry before I lose all control over my faculties.

You see, I am scared of flying. No, not scared, out-of-my-mind-PANIC-stricken afraid of flying. I get a panic attack every time I see or hear a plane, see a picture of an airport, or even think about being confined in my little tiny seat.

I think my flying fear arises from three more generic phobias:

1. I'm claustrophobic

2. I'm deathly afraid of heights, and,

3. I am terrified of being out of control. I don't even like letting other people drive because I always feel safer doing it myself. Control freak.

So you put these three together, and you have me nibbling my fingernails, staring out the window, clutching on to the arm rest for dear life every time the plane hits a patch of minor turbulence.

Luckily for me, I have a friend who has more drugs than GOD, and she was kind enough to pass me a few muscle relaxants that should calm me down enough to get me on the plane and, hopefully, knock me out. But, having never taken any such drug before, I am trying a sample tonight to see how long it takes to kick in, what exactly the effects are, and how long it takes to wear off. I'm approaching this very scientifically, no? I am so proud of my ingenuity in rigging this test. Even though I'm supposed to be cleaning my apartment, making arrangements to get to the airport, and packing tonight...

I have to be careful, because if this thing is too strong I will be a zombie when I get to New York tomorrow night. If my boy finds me in such a state there will probably be lots of huffing, puffing, dirty looks, and maybe even some spanking. And I don't want to waste one of my four nights in NYC catatonic.

Speaking of catatonic, your truly is now officially a certified to instruct basic life support techniques. You should all be very afraid: I only practiced doing the CPR stuff three times yesterday, and that's all the experience I get. Just have to take a stupid multiple choice test and they give you a certificate! ("If an infant is choking, should you: 1. Turn it upside-down and shake it violently, 2. Hit it on the back of its head repeatedly, 3. Drop it onto a carpeted surface three times, then perform the Heimlich maneuver, or 4. It doesn't matter what I write here because if you can't tell that the first three answers are completely wrong than you must have somebody reading this outloud to you because you surely can't have the minimum IQ required to read.")

Hmm, It has been half an hour now and I still don't really feel anything. My eyes hurt, but they always do when I look at this cursed laptop's screen. I'm tired, but I've been tired for the past week.

Better get some stuff done. I'm off to NYC tomorrow, but I'll tell you all about it on Wednesday, I'm sure. I'm leaving my duct tape and plastic sheeting at home--do you think I'll be safe? ;)